"The path of the tub loving man is beset on all sides by the vagaries of the track and the tyranny of fellow competitors. Blessed is he, who in the name of speed and good traction, shepherds his tubs through the singletrack and roots, for he is truly the master of low pressure and the finder of the best line. And I will strike down upon thee with great indignity and much muttering, those who would attempt to ridicule and disrespect my tubs. And you will know my name is crossjunkie when I glue my tubs on your wheels."
With certain, ahem, poetic licence to Mr Tarantino and co.